A few weeks in the past, I posted a couple of really horrible proposal of marriage acquired by Elizabeth Bennet in Delight and Prejudice, and the way it’s like some fundraising: The sort the place organizations say, “You must donate as a result of that may be excellent for us.”
Since then, I remembered one thing else about Delight and Prejudice: Elizabeth had the misfortune of getting a second horrible proposal, not lengthy after that first one. This one from Mr. Darcy, a super-rich man who appeared to dislike practically everybody, together with Elizabeth.
Till he instantly exhibits up the place she’s staying and, to her nice shock, says he loves her and desires to marry her. However boy does he blow it. He principally says I’m a giant deal, you aren’t, and I shouldn’t marry you — however I wish to anyway. Right here’s a part of that scene from the ebook, which not directly describes what he has to say:
His sense of her inferiority — of its being a degradation — of the household obstacles which judgment had all the time against inclination, have been dwelt on with a heat which appeared because of the consequence he was wounding, however was not possible to advocate his swimsuit…. He concluded with representing to her the energy of that attachment which, regardless of all his endeavours, he had discovered not possible to overcome; and with expressing his hope that it will now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand. As he stated this, she might simply see that he had little doubt of a beneficial reply. He spoke of apprehension and anxiousness, however his countenance expressed actual safety.
Generally, fundraising is like that:
Our group is de facto, actually essential. We do one thing that issues quite a bit, and we’re excellent at it. You, donor, alternatively, are poor in some ways. You could have few sources. You don’t actually perceive our work. You might be insufficiently linked with our trigger. You simply don’t get it. However we want your cash. So cough it up.
Then they surprise why “Elizabeth” says no.
Sadly, we see fundraising like that usually. It’s fairly in style amongst some in our group.
Many readers of the ebook surprise how Elizabeth might probably settle for Mr. Darcy, as she finally does — and so they get married. How might anybody say sure after such a self-centered, scolding, disagreeable attraction letter proposal.
In most relationship moments, issues go higher while you perceive: It’s not all about me!
If you wish to affect folks and improve your connection, you’ll want to perceive their world. Why they would possibly care. Actually, What’s in it for them?
Approaching the connection with an conceited, me-first, “you’re a loser” method is a fast path to failure. Whether or not you’re searching for marriage or a donation. Relationships go each methods.
Poor Mr. Collins was a schlub. Mr. Darcy was a jerk (There’s a greater time period for what he was, however I favor to not use it right here).
Don’t be both of them.
The 1995 TV miniseries of Delight and Prejudice depicts what Mr. Darcy might need really stated for his proposal. See it right here on YouTube.
