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Saturday, December 13, 2025

When You Don’t Need Your Youngsters To Be Simply Like You


There comes a second when your little one may lookup and say, with wide-eyed innocence:

  • “I wish to go to the workplace and sort on a laptop computer all day like Mommy.”
  • “I wish to journey overseas for work for 2 weeks at a time like Daddy.”
  • “I wish to have video conferences at dwelling and within the workplace such as you.”
  • “I wish to go to work and are available dwelling late each night time.”

At first, chances are you’ll really feel a surge of pleasure. Your laborious work is being seen. You’ve grow to be a job mannequin. However virtually as rapidly, that pleasure can twist into one thing else: concern.

As a result of if they honestly knew what it was prefer to be you—harassed, exhausted, chasing monetary safety, and feeling responsible for not doing sufficient—they could rethink their goals. And also you may, too.

Why I Don’t Need My Youngsters to Be Like Me

After publishing Purchase This, Not That, I used to be drained. Conventional publishing was new for me, and whereas I used to be proud to strive it, it felt like swinging two bats on the plate – exhausting however satisfying to let go.

Then my writer provided me a two-book deal. I hesitated. Did I actually wish to put myself via the grind once more? A part of me mentioned no. However one other half—the half that wishes to instill a powerful work ethic in my youngsters—mentioned sure.

As a FIRE mother or father, I fear about creating an phantasm that life is simple. So I dedicated to the second ebook, not simply to assist readers, however to indicate my youngsters what persistence appears to be like like.

The Second E-book, And A Second Of Dread

Two and a half years later, Millionaire Milestones: Easy Steps To Seven Figures is completed and can hit cabinets tomorrow on Might 6, 2025. My son has seen me write, heard me speak via chapters, and even weighed in on cowl designs.

At some point after faculty, he instructed me, “I wish to be a author such as you, Daddy.”

My coronary heart swelled. After which sank.

As a result of whereas writing is rewarding, it’s additionally brutally laborious and never financially sensible.

The Arduous Lifetime of a Author

I’ve typically questioned how youngsters find yourself pursuing among the least profitable jobs after 17 years of training. Don’t they notice the world is just too merciless to allow them to main in Artwork Historical past, English, or Poetry?

Perhaps not. In class, they’re inspired to be inventive, observe their passions, and imagine they will obtain something with laborious work. Then they rigorously observe all the things you do, even in case you suppose they aren’t watching. Watch out.

Sadly, life has payments to pay.

Except you’re from an extraordinarily rich household, spending 4 years and a whole bunch of 1000’s of {dollars} on faculty to pursue a profession within the arts is impractical.

If my son majored in English and have become a author like me, he’d face many hungry days. He’d seemingly by no means earn sufficient to purchase a house, not to mention get married and begin a household.

As an alternative, he might find yourself dwelling in our storage, questioning the place all of it went fallacious. Throughout my 24 years in San Francisco, I’ve seen loads of grownup sons dwelling at dwelling, unable to supply for themselves.

My spouse and I may not see grandchildren both. By pursuing writing, our household lineage might finish, until we construct a genetic dynasty just like the one in Isaac Asimov’s Basis.

The Harsh Economics of Writing

The typical ebook advance? $5,000–$10,000. Even a prime 1% advance of $250,000 is normally cut up over 3–4 funds and a pair of–3 years. That’s possibly $83,000 a yr, hardly a golden ticket, particularly in a high-cost metropolis.

And most writers don’t even get a deal. Roughly 95% fail to land one. Do not grow to be a skilled author if you wish to stay properly.

As one dad mentioned to me in 2022, after I talked about writing one other ebook, “I’m sorry. Synthetic intelligence is disrupting all the things.”

So when my son says he desires to observe in my footsteps, I really feel conflicted. I would like him to be inventive and fulfilled. However I additionally need him to eat.

Highest-paying jobs

Running a blog Is not Simple Both

“Can’t he simply begin a weblog such as you did?” some may ask.

Certain. However most bloggers make little to nothing for years, even when they publish 3 times every week. AI-generated content material is flooding the web, making it more durable for bloggers to outlive.

Sure, he might strive YouTube or podcasting. However these, too, are lengthy video games stuffed with uncertainty.

Don’t construct your essential profession on a platform you don’t personal, and don’t count on ardour alone to pay the payments. Listed here are some reflections on getting cash on-line since 2009.

Significant vs. Profitable Careers

Ideally, your little one will discover work that’s each significant and financially safe. Docs, nurses, and academics all contribute to society in unbelievable methods. However even they face burnout. For academics, they typically aren’t paid sufficient for what they do.

On the opposite finish are the high-paying however doubtlessly soul-draining jobs—funding banking, huge tech, administration consulting, and regulation—the industries the place many elite college graduates land. Whereas the work is probably not fulfilling, these roles can speed up the trail to monetary independence.

Demand for software developers is declining
Even the once-coveted software program developer job could also be getting disrupted by AI.

The Freedom To Select Comes From Monetary Stability

Should you or your little one desires to observe a ardour, pursue it as a facet hustle, at the very least till you’re financially steady. Study to put in writing clearly to grow to be a greater communicator, not essentially to make it a profession.

Personally, I’d love for my boy to pursue a profession that helps society, even when it doesn’t pay properly. However he’ll solely have that selection if he builds wealth early. Ardour with out earnings is a quick observe to resentment.

Earlier than you attempt to save the world, you’ve obtained to save lots of your self.

Work Ethic Is The One Factor You Can Management

You may’t dictate your little one’s path, however you possibly can mannequin willpower, self-discipline, and pleasure in your work. These are common expertise in any subject.

That’s one motive I pushed via writing Millionaire Milestones. It’s not only a ebook, it is the end result of many years of economic studying, packaged to assist individuals construct nice wealth step-by-step. The liberty to decide on your life is priceless.

However let’s be frank: there’s no approach I might have written this ebook or maintained this website since 2009 with out the online value and passive earnings to assist my household.

Writing is a labor of affection. It brings deep satisfaction. However the freedom to do it commonly got here solely after reaching a minimal stage of economic safety.

Last Ideas

So when your child says they wish to be similar to you, take a second. Smile. Hug them. Then suppose laborious about what it means and how much life you actually need them to have.

As a result of possibly the best reward we can provide our youngsters isn’t simply inspiration. It’s optionality.

Millionaire Milestones launches tomorrow and I might love so that you can choose up a tough copy and construct extra wealth than you ever thought attainable. Perhaps I may even present my youngsters their outdated man nonetheless obtained it. Thanks in your assist!

Millionaire Milestones book by Sam Dogen, When You Don’t Want Your Kids To Grow Up To Be Just Like You
Click on the hyperlink to choose up a duplicate on Amazon

Reader Questions

Readers, do you imagine in following your ardour or being sensible? Would you like your youngsters to develop as much as do what you do? Why or why not? How can we guarantee our youngsters select occupations that pay sufficient and are additionally spiritually rewarding? How can we instill in our youngsters a piece ethic that may assist them succeed, irrespective of their occupation?

When You Do not Need Your Youngsters To Develop Up To Be Like You is a Monetary Samurai authentic publish. All rights reserved. For extra private finance insights, be a part of 60,000+ others and join my free weekly publication.

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